But, we Americans also have “the book” and a history of respect for God and man, yes?  We worship on Sunday and pay our regards to the God we know through our attendance at our sanctuaries and our heartfelt prayers.  Who dare question the integrity of our lives of piety? We freely admit our love of our heavenly father. We stop to listen to the oft-spoken prayers and bow our head and say Amen.  The commandments speak true, we nod our head in assent.

And yet, the torn man sits by the road begging, and the child eats empty meals for breakfast.  The widow, not abandoned by death, but by man’s choice, tends to her young lads and weeps while nearby the highways gleam with late- model cars, carrying each commuter to their safe place of work, or back to the patios, microwaves and well-stocked freezers of home.

A story is told of a day long ago, of a gathering on a hill, two worldviews competing.  The conventional wisdom of the day exposed by an odd man with an odd challenge.  Elijah (found in 1 Kings 18) represented the Living God and answered God’s call in pointing out the futility of conventional thought and acceptable worship. When those followers of Baal expected their god to speak, they did all they could to ensure his response.

“O Baal, answer us!” But nothing happened—not so much as a whisper of breeze. Desperate, they jumped and stomped on the altar they had made.

27-28 By noon, Elijah had started making fun of them, taunting, “Call a little louder—he is a god, after all. Maybe he’s off meditating somewhere or other, or maybe he’s gotten involved in a project, or maybe he’s on vacation. You don’t suppose he’s overslept, do you, and needs to be waked up?” They prayed louder and louder, cutting themselves with swords and knives—a ritual common to them—until they were covered with blood.

What rituals common to us will be used to wake the sleeping gods and those on vacation?  What reminder does the overly-involved god need to be summoned at our request?

Could it be that our cultural icons and vacationing deities will never respond, never fulfill, never satisfy?  Or could it be that we just haven’t worked hard enough to get them to get involved in our project, our concerns and desires?  Perhaps we are not yet covered with blood?

One of the highlights of the trip for me is being able to have Ruth travel with me. She is nineteen years old and will be beginning her freshman year at George Fox University in the fall.  This will be Ruth’s first international trip.  I hope that she will develop a love for Africa, as I have.  Another highlight for me is seeing friends again in Rwanda. On my previous trips, I made several friends. It will be good to visit again.

While May has historically been a quiet month in my work, I had to accomplish a number of tasks this past week to not only prepare for our trip, but to also take care of ongoing work projects.  I will come back home to a number of assignments, including the beginning of three courses in June.

As far as this trip goes, the conference that I am participating in is the eLearning Africa conference.  This is the 6th annual conference. I am presenting a paper reviewing the opportunities and challenges we have encountered while working on a project to establish academic programs in Rwanda.  In Kenya, we will be staying at the Ilkeliani camp in the Maasai Mara. In Rwanda, we will be staying at the Go Ed guesthouse in Kigali.

I know that we will have internet access in Rwanda, assume we will not in Kenya and unsure about Tanzania.  I intend to post occasionally here, though I am unsure how frequently.

I tried to draw a word picture of sorts out of the raw material that came from the meeting. From the introductory comments that one of our worship leaders brought, I learned that the concept of peace is a multilayered one. From personal peace, to peace in the family, the community, the nation and in the world, each of us can focus on a different layer. I reflected on what was said, that we can get stuck if we exclusively focus on personal peace, looking to enhance our own well being and relationship with God; of if we are solely concerned with international peace. At either end of the spectrum, we could become so focused that we lose opportunity to truly reflect peace as God intends.

I found it hard to find a way of tying all the ideas together, but I reflected on the structure of the worship meeting, from the songs that helped us focus on the work of God in our lives to the specific activities that we were invited to participate in as part of the meeting. We had the choice to walk the path, to use the labyrinth, to make a peace flag or to read and reflect on quotes there were displayed in the sanctuary. During the story that my wife, Debbie read to the children I was challenged to reflect on what peace is like and how I experience it. I also realized that certain boys’ inappropriate words during the response time were probably inhibiting other kid’s participation, and I did not like that.

I invited Alice and Catherine to walk on the path which extends around our property with me. We were blessed with lovely weather and the walk was slow and lovely. We talked about church, worship, the property and the beauty that surrounded us. We also visited the labyrinth that had been set up in the gym and both Alice and Catherine walked it as I conversed with others. I recognized that I was in the presence of two persons who may have never been in a worship experience before this time. I did my best to be open and sensitive to their lack of connections with what we were doing. How is my commitment and outreach a “peace making” activity.

I reflect back on Stan’s sermon of the previous week regarding holy dissatisfaction. In my mind there is a distinction to be made between standing up to injustice or in carrying out peacemaking from an ethical sense of doing the right thing or challenging wrong doing and acting out of a transformed heart which is compelled to respond to God. However, do I dare speak against ethical stands for justice and peace? Should I only act on God’s clear direction? And how is my heart transformed anyway? Do my actions in doing good themselves cause a transformation?

These thoughts lead me to some of the reflections shared by others at the conclusion of this Sunday’s worship service. Again, I tried hard to find themes to categorize these thoughts, but could not easily group them. I heard that a need for Jesus is important and that stillness and a release of my need to control are needed to be at peace. I was challenged to think about how my brokenness itself becomes a venue for sharing light (a thought that Parker Palmer shares in his book; A Hidden Wholeness). This thought is actually one that will form a foundation for a webinar I am doing next Tuesday on balancing work and life. The audience will be educators who work in Christian schools and I have been thinking about maintaining a peaceful life related to our professional roles and responsibilities.

Regarding a peaceful life, we were challenged during the service to find peace inside so that we would be able to influence others. In order to find this peace, we need to give up our own rights and see that God may be investing us into something bigger than we realize. Spiritual renewal is hard work, in a sense; we are not passive in seeking or maintaining peace, but actively working toward achieving peace on the many dimensions from personal to international. One person made the point that strong and clear messages of peace can come from secular voices, and those are not to be ignored.

I serve as department chair at my University. As such, I have many responsibilities that go beyond what would be expected of a faculty member. I serve on the editorial board of a scholarly journal and am president of an international association of scholar-teachers. In these roles, I am expected to plan programs, lead people, assess efforts and teach others professionals. In my local congregation  I have been active in leadership for several years in varying capacity.

What this context provides for me is an understanding that when I say, “It isn’t quite right”, I am in a position of knowing more than I should about various groups I am a part of. As a result, whether I am dealing with other professors, with university business or with local church politics, I can say, I know too much, and things aren’t quite right.

My realization about things not being quite right does indeed come from my vision of what an ideal organization would be like. The three organizations I mention are all made up of people who are followers of Christ, and I can say with confidence that the actual practice of people in these groups does not measure up to the ideal.

So what? Does it really matter to me that life is less than ideal, that people are less than perfect, that love and respect and servanthood have been replaced by “every man for himself”, “the wealthy and powerful have first crack, they’ve earned, it after all” and “why should I be the one to get involved, it is not worth hassling with”.

I make sense of my lack of response in various ways. For instance, since we are all human and none of us measure up to the fullness of the ideal, I can just learn to live within a comfortable margin of tolerance between what I would characterize as my ideal and what is awful. In this grey, in-between area there are gradations which are less than totally light but light enough for me to be content, and other, darker levels in which I am uncomfortable. If I am lacking courage or energy or focus, I can lower the threshold of acceptability of the environment and say, “yes, I guess this is okay after all.” Or, I can say, “I don’t want to get so single minded that I am unable to enjoy a balanced life that allows me time with my family, some leisure, and the opportunity to continue to grow professionally”. At times, I find myself getting to the edge of speaking out, saying, it isn’t quite right.” And then I wonder, “how will this affect me personally, will my willingness to confront and offend other people bring me discomfort and pain from others whom I choose to challenge.”

I reflect on the people that were featured in the sermon on Sunday. Jesus, Paul, Peter and Martin Luther King Jr. were all killed for taking stands. George Fox suffered at the hands of the church people of his day and was imprisoned for his efforts. Martin Luther was harassed, run out of the church, and had a death sentence pronounced on him. Mother Teresa embraced a life of poverty, and although honored for her efforts at service, was also attacked by others for her attempts to influence culture. Lucretia Mott’s opposition to slavery and advocacy for women’s right seem mainstream today, but in her day, she was so far ahead of the culture that she was attacked, ostracized and considered to be out of bounds both within the church and in the culture at large.

Are these the kinds of lives that I aspire to? Or, am I Like the disciples that Jesus dealt with in Mark chapter 10, who were amazed that Jesus stated that rich people would find it extremely difficult to enter the Kingdom of God.

23-25Looking at his disciples, Jesus said, “Do you have any idea how difficult it is for people who ‘have it all’ to enter God’s kingdom?” The disciples couldn’t believe what they were hearing, but Jesus kept on: “You can’t imagine how difficult. I’d say it’s easier for a camel to go through a needle’s eye than for the rich to get into God’s kingdom.”
26That set the disciples back on their heels. “Then who has any chance at all?” they asked.
27Jesus was blunt: “No chance at all if you think you can pull it off by yourself. Every chance in the world if you let God do it.”

I say I want to follow Jesus, so why is it so difficult for me to accept the fact having it all is actually a barrier to God’s kingdom, not an indication of my heavenly citizenship. Those folks that we were reminded of in the sermon on Sunday saw things a bit differently. I learned from the sermon that my behaviors, my choices, my life will reflect my grasp of the vision of Christ in my life. The work of transformation that Christ can do, desires to do and will do occurs only if I am willing to let God to it. I realize that I am attempting to pull off things on my own, figuring out how to make transformation occur at my behest, all within my comfortable notion of, “things are just about right”. I suppose that at this point in time, I am looking for ways of holding on to much of what I have, not in laying it down for the sake of saying, “it isn’t quite right”. And that isn’t quite right, is it?

¹³People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. ¹⁴When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. ¹⁵I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” ¹⁶And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.

We discussed what it means to receive God’s kingdom like a little child. The Message version gives several clues.  In the wording there  it states, “accept God’s kingdom in the simplicity of a child”. The passage itself implies acceptance and simplicity as important. In our conversation we generated the following lists of attributes of children that contribute to our being like a little child:

• trust
• simplicity
• gratitude
• recognition of need
• joy
• sense of adventure

I will briefly review my view of receiving the Kingdom as a child.  At this point, I am only  examining  my own thinking and behavior.

Trust is foundational for acceptance.  If the Kingdom of God advances continually in the time-space, conceptual space, spiritual space, relational space, circumstantial space and geographic space that I occupy, I am faced with a choice as to whether I accept or  resist its advance.  My choice to accept or reject is related to my ability to trust God.  Is what happens to me a conspiracy of the universe against me?  Is what happens God’s will?  Is what happens coincidental or accidental? Am I a victim, a recipient, or a bystander?  Each of these stances I could take reflects my view of the universe and how I trust or not trust God.

Simplicity implies lack of artifice, lack of baggage, lack of cost-counting.  Do I make decisions based on the merits of the actions implied by that decision, or based on a calculation which measures the level of reaction other people will have to my decision, the costs and benefits of my decision and the long term gains available to me? Is something to be done for the intrinsic merit or worth of the action?

Troy reminded that a simple and trusting manner in which to live in this world is with gratitude.  I know that I have much to be thankful for in my life.  It could be that living with gratitude is even more to the point than being thankful.  These concepts may be accepted as interchangeable, but it may be that gratitude is a disposition, an attitude that I put on as a way of life, not just an acknowledgment to another person that I am thankful for some thing in particular. I admit that not all children are grateful, but if you are like me you can probably relate a story about gratitude that involved a young child and a general view of life that included joy and thankfulness on a continual basis.

Being able to admit my need is very challenging. I want to be able to figure things out for myself rather than asking someone else to assist me.  In the simplicity and trust of a child, admitting need is part of the package. Personal pride and my own abilities hamper my willingness to ask for help.  How often do I forget that asking for help blesses others who are able to meet my need.

Joy, a general sense of delight and pleasure with the world around me, is another characteristic we have identified as childlike.  While not all circumstances are pleasant, each day bring an opportunity for joy.  Or does it?  I am not suggesting that my list of childlike characteristics are meant to be presented to the reader as a to-do list. I know that all of these factors are measures of childlikeness, but may not be easily learned or adopted behaviors.  It could be that all of these are reflections of a life lived in recognition and union with God and therefore we want to seek that union and the others will follow.  Of, could it be that when we are joyful we are entered into the kingdom?

A sense of adventure, the state of being in which every stone, every doorway, every sound and gust of wind hints at something more; clues to a hidden world in which each moment brings mystery, anticipation, hope and tension.  Adventure on the road and in the kitchen are both similar in that as we take the next step toward our destination, we are carried away by our own desire to be intrigues, amazed with and in awe of life.

I am comfortable in knowing that there are many who may read this who have other views, based on their own understanding and experience.  I will continue to make space in my own life to reflect on my attitudes and behaviors, at times wondering about the Kingdom of God and my proximity to it.  I long for God’s voice calling, “Hey, kid, come on in.”

This past Saturday we read Mark chapter three. One section of this chapter is a story of Jesus healing a man’s hand on the Sabbath. Here is the account in the Message version:

• 1-3 Then he went back in the meeting place where he found a man with a crippled hand. The Pharisees had their eyes on Jesus to see if he would heal him, hoping to catch him in a Sabbath infraction. He said to the man with the crippled hand, “Stand here where we can see you.”
• 4Then he spoke to the people: “What kind of action suits the Sabbath best? Doing good or doing evil? Helping people or leaving them helpless?” No one said a word.
• 5-6He looked them in the eye, one after another, angry now, furious at their hard-nosed religion. He said to the man, “Hold out your hand.” He held it out—it was as good as new! The Pharisees got out as fast as they could, sputtering about how they would join forces with Herod’s followers and ruin him.

The thought from this passage that caused me to stop and reflect on was that a group of religious people were not willing to allow a healing to take place because it was a violation of their law. Think about it. The law was developed in response to the original commandments given to Moses by GOD on Mount Sinai. Over the course of hundreds of years; sincere, intelligent, and devout men worked at analyzing, interpreting and enacting law which they believed came from GOD. By the time of Jesus, law regarding the Sabbath had been expanded and solidified so that there was a strict set of activities that could and could not be done so that people would be in compliance. Performing work of almost any type was prohibited including most daily domestic chores. It is clear from this passage that the healing of a crippled man was considered work and therefore forbidden.

It is easy for us today to dismiss this Sabbath law as foolishness or anachronistic and in doing so we miss the impact of Jesus’ actions and the response of the Pharisees. Indeed, the law made perfect sense, it was widely followed and infractions were punished. One aspect of the law that is important to remember is that in the mindset of the religious people of Jesus’, God’s work could not be done outside of the law. And so, even “good works” such as healing a sick or crippled person could not be of God or God-honoring since breaking the Sabbath was opposed to God and God’s law. We may think that violating the Sabbath was a minor infraction; I think that it was a greater crime than we realize.

Jesus chose to do good while breaking the law instead of not breaking the law and leaving the crippled man broken. What are the implications for me today? How am I to know what good I should be about, even at the cost of breaking the law, violating convention or upsetting people?

After we had these conversations, we participated in a train the trainer session that Meredith led, working with 14 trainers of Rwandan teachers.    These trainers help the primary teachers learn how to teach in English and how to introduce learner-centered strategies in their classrooms. My brief period of conversation and observation convinced me that this is an effective program.

After Immanuelli and I dropped off Linda, Tom and Jay at the airport, he took me to the hotel where I am spending the night.  The guesthouse is full tonight and so I am staying in the One Hill Motel.  After getting settled in, I took a moto taxi to Kicukiro, headquarters to the Friends Church in Rwanda and home for my friend, Heri Bonheur. Heri is a graduate of the George Fox Secondary School in Kicukiro and a member of the Friends church here.  He is a mentee of David Bucurra and my friend.  I had lunch with Heri in his home.  He told me about his journey to South Africa to serve as a chaperon to David’s son, Yves.  Yves had a lead role in a South African production of a film regarding child soldiers.  Heri told me about their adventure in South Africa.  During his time there, a benefactor gave him a new HP portable computer.  He has begun to write his family history.  I offered to do some editing for him and gave him some advice while we ate sausage, cheese and bread.

Heri shared a letter with me that was actually an invitation from the producer of the film.  She invited him to attend a two-month film institute, all expenses paid, although he will have to come up with transportation.  I made a small contribution to his trip.  He is quite excited about this opportunity and I hope and pray that he will be able to secure the funds.  Heri has been interested in film making for quite some time and this is a good opportunity for him.

When I left Heri’s home, I intended to walk to Kicukiro market and then get a moto taxi back to Remera.  I passed the market by and kept walking.  It took me about one hour and ten minutes to walk all the way back to my motel.  I was fairly worn out, so I rested for a bit.  However, I was looking forward to my visit with Vianney, so I called him and he came by to pick me up.  We went to Stella 3, a bar and grill frequented by Rwandans.  I was the only white person in the place.  We orded brochette as an apetizer and then chicken and banannas for dinner.  The brochette (grilled meat on a stick) was excellent.  Our meal was very good as well.  We washed the meal down with a couple of Mutzig.  Vianney and I spoke of Le Rapid, the youth bicycle club that he is the president of.  His riders are preparing for national competition, and he hopes to place several riders on the national team for the Tour de Rwanda, which will be coming up in November.  The cirucuit will include a ride from Ruengheri to Kigali, a fairly challenging, hilly 100 km.

ESK is a Friends School.  There are over 800 students at the school, with 75% of those being boarders.  Matt and Gayle Denham, from Oregon are living at the school and working as English teachers for the teachers here and a nearby primary school.  We had a wonderful visit of both schools, had lunch with Gayle and Matt and got to speak with administrators and teachers of both schools.  We did two classroom observations at the primary school, one an English lesson and the other a science lesson on the water cycle.

At ESK, we greeted several groups of students.  it seemed that there were about 50 students in each room.  The conditions in these schools were similar to those that we encountered in the Western Province of Kenya.  Electricity was available at ESK, but there were no lights on in the classrooms.  An automobile wheel mounted on a wooden stand in the center of the courtyard of the school served as the school bell.  When it was time to pass, a teacher or administrator would strick the wheel with a rock.  Rocks were plentious, as we were at the base of a volcanic mountain.  This is the region of Volcanoes National Park, the area where the mountain gorilla lives.  This is the area made famous in the movie, “Gorillas in the Mist”.  It is also the area, very close to the Ugandan border, where the RPF, now the ruling party in Rwanda, hid out and prepared attacks against the previous government during the time of strife and genocide in 1994.

Matt and Gayle treated us to lunch at a local restaurant.  We had brochette, or as I would commonly refer to as “meat on a stick”.  The meat was goat, and it was grilled to perfection!  We also had cooked banannas, and they were quite tasty.  Lunch was accompanied by Fanta sodas.  The meal for the eight of us came out to about twleve dollars USD.